Ann Landers Maturity Essay

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction.

Maturity is patience. It is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of long-term gain.

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks.

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, ``I was wrong.``

And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, ``I told you so.``

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and follow through. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then do nothing.

Maturity means dependability, keeping one`s word and coming through in a crisis. The immature are masters of the alibi. They are conflicted and disorganized. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that never materialize.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with what we cannot change, the courage to change what we know should be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Dear Ann Landers: Four years ago, after 11 years of marriage and two children, I learned of my husband`s six-month affair with his secretary. She was 26, in her third marriage, and she had a 2-year-old son.

Since then, I have divorced my husband, been able to support my two children and become engaged to a wonderful, caring man.

The secretary`s third husband divorced her. She married my ex-husband and now my children are with them every other weekend. I despise this home wrecker. She has no morals, no conscience and no sense of decency. Her record proves that she is a no-good tramp.

So far I have successfully avoided meeting the trollop but I know that eventually my luck will run out and we will come face-to-face. Here`s where I need your advice. Should I ignore her when that time comes? I would like to handle the situation tactfully, gracefully and with real dignity. But I can`t imagine myself treating her with kindness after what she did to me and my children. Please advise.

Jacksonville, Fla.

Dear Jacksonville: Rest assured this woman is less eager to meet you than you are to meet her. If you really want to handle the situation with class, be a lady. Show no trace of hostility. Do it for the children. They`ve had enough turmoil and ambivalence in their lives. They don`t need any more.

P.S. Cheated-on wives invariably label the other woman ``scum.`` What do they call their husbands?

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Maturity Means Many Things, Including . . .

Maturity

Maturity is many things. It is the ability to base a judgment on the big picture, the long haul. It means being able to resist the urge for immediate gratification and opt for the course of action that will pay off later. One of the characteristics of the young is "I want it now." Grown-up people can wait.

Maturity is perseverance -- the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks, and stick with it until it is finished. The adult who is constantly changing jobs, changing friends and changing mates is immature. He cannot stick it out because he has not grown up.

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction. The mature person can face unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort and defeat without collapsing or complaining. He knows he can't have everything his own way every time. He is able to defer to circumstances, to other people -- and to time. He knows when to compromise and is not too proud to do it.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when he is right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."

Maturity is the ability to live up to your responsibilities, and this means being dependable. It means keeping your word. Dependability is the hallmark of integrity. Do you mean what you say -- and do you say what you mean? Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who can't be counted on. When you need them most, they are among the missing. They never seem to come through in the clutches. They break promises and substitute alibis for performance. They show up late or not at all. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a chaotic maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that somehow never materialize. They are always a day late and a dollar short.

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. Immature people spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then do nothing. Action requires courage. Without courage, little is accomplished.

Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities and your energies and do more than is expected. The mature person refuses to settle for mediocrity. He would rather aim high and miss the mark than aim low -- and make it.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed, no matter what it takes, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Gem of the Day: Greatest example of quick thinking: "What do you mean?" asked the new employee. "I was not sleeping on the job. Can't a person close his eyes around here for a moment of prayer?"

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